robotmonkeys

the monkeys know all

  • The Perfect Bucket

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    I often think about this bucket. It is the most perfectly designed bucket I have ever seen.

    It was the early or mid 90s, and my mom and her friend Cheryl were looking for gifts do the church’s Fathers’ Day breakfast. They went somewhere, maybe a True-Value or an Ace, and found these. Cheryl looked at them and said, “These are good buckets. John needs a bucket.” So they bought several as gifts.

    Cheryl was right. These are good buckets. In high school, I thought a bucket was kind of silly but I was struck by how unusual it looked. Every feature was there for a reason, and worked well. Ever since that day I compare the very bucket I see against this one, and every bucket I see fails to measure up.

    The first thing I noticed about it was that it had a flat back. It was the first flat back bucket I ever saw. It had the hose clips, a spout, and a little lip on the bottom to grab when pouring. even the rubber on the handle has held up over 30 years.

    Only today, did I look up who made it. Gracious Living out of Ontario. They still make it, but I have no idea where to buy one.

  • “An Appalling Exercise in Misjudgement”

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    I have a new movie to check out: The Queen’s Corgi. It is a Belgian animated film about Queen Elizabeth’s corgis. A heartwarming European family comedy?

    It has a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes with reviews such as:

    • “Deeply unpleasant and in no way suitable for children.”
    • “An appalling exercise in misjudgment”
    • “It’s as if the screenwriters wrote a hard R, Sausage Party-style lowbrow romp and a G-rated movie about cute doggies, then combined the two scripts into something that was wildly inappropriate for families but too cute and cloying for adults. Nobody should watch this with their kids if they watch it at all.”

    Even before I got to the reviews, what stood out to me was that it has both a UK voice cast and an American cast. Meaning they took a film, that takes place in the UK, and then redubbed it from English.. TO ENGLISH. And if that’s not wild enough for you, At least three members of the American cast are not credited under their own names. And I guarantee a fourth name is also fake because “Rusty Shackleford” is credited. FUCKING DALE GRIBBLE’S ALIAS IS IN THE CREDITS.

    Watch it for free on YouTube via the “Family Central” channel.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMREi96Eu4o

  • San Francisco is a rotten heart

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    San Francisco is the TechBro city, that maintains being the center of culture of the bay through inertia. The creativity is rotten, and what is good continues only because it hasn’t gotten the signal heart has stopped. It is the cells that continue to metabolize and conduct mitosis even after the heart has stopped.

    San Jose is what it’s been for 40 years. A bedroom community. Immigrants for tech firms and the support of people and white collar jobs. At its best, it’s granola culture suburbs.

    Oakland is rough and forgotten town. It’s where the conscious is. It’s genuine.

  • Today in Cyberpunk Dystopia

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    So LA started to turnout against ICE raids and Trump activated the national guard over the governor’s objection.

    And now we have shirtless skateboarders with balaclavas and Misfit pants whaling on Waymo self driving cars and setting them on fire.

    Cool zone of history indeed

    Previously.

  • E-Cacia

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    Eau Claire, Wisconsin’s SolarForma has created these solar panel supporting tree structures they call E-Cacia. Each tree produces 3.5 kW of electricity, while simultaneously providing 440 square feet of usable shade.

    Previously. Previously. Previously. Previously.

  • Gone Soft

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    Things have changed since my day.

    We used to have ways to handle problems like this.

    *coughing fit*

    Now they can’t even keep “Big Ballz” out of the CIA.

    *takes a drag off a cigarette*

  • Felt Witchy, Might Delete Later

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    I don’t know why I made this, but I felt a compelled to make a box covered with magical symbols.

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  • Polish Notation

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    Jan ?ukasiewicz

    TIL prefix notation (aka Polish notation) was invented in 1924 by Jan Łukasiewic, who apparently just dropped it in an article not about the notation at all. Which is a pretty ballsy thing. (Actual quote: “I came upon the idea of a parenthesis-free notation in 1924. I used that notation for the first time in my article Łukasiewic(1)”) That also seems par for the course for mathematicians.

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  • Asteroid Blues (2032)

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    It’s 2032. Astronomers confirm that asteroid 2024 YR4 will impact the Earth unless a diversion plan launched immediately.

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  • Drunk Billionaire Drama

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    An HBO prestige drama where a family struggles for control over a vast fortune and/or corporation. The patriarch that’s currently in control of the company is so fearful that he will accidentally authorize something that will result in him losing control, that he maintains intoxication throughout his waking hours.

    He’s literally intoxicated 24/7.

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