Robot Monkeys

Schmap: East Coast Photo Short-list

Hi Jonathan,

I am writing to let you know that one of your photos has been short-listed for inclusion in the second edition of our Schmap East Coast Guide, to be published at the end of this month.

[ Link entitled "City Hall Plaza" replaced to flickr photo in question ]

Clicking this link will take you to a page where you can:
i) See which of your photos has been short-listed.
ii) Submit or withdraw your photo from our final selection phase.
iii) Learn how we credit photos in our Schmap Guides.
iv) Browse the first edition of our Schmap East Coast Guide.

While we offer no payment for publication, many photographers are pleased to submit their photos, as Schmap Guides give their work recognition and wide exposure, and are free of charge to readers. Photos are published at a maximum width of 150 pixels, are clearly attributed, and link to high-resolution originals at Flickr.

Our submission deadline is Sunday, April 13. If you happen to be reading this message after this date, please still click on the link above (our Schmap Guides are updated frequently - photos submitted after this deadline will be considered for later releases).

Best regards,

Emma Williams,
Managing Editor, Schmap Guides

My reply:

What a great opportunity! My photo of Alexanderplatz in Berlin in a guide to Boston!

Wow. Just wow.

Please avoid embarrassing yourself, and me along with you and do not use my photo. I withdraw my photo that was automatically harvested with your bot.

YOU MAY NOT USE MY PHOTO. IT IS NOT APPLICABLE AT ALL TO YOUR NEEDS, AS IT IS NOT A PHOTO OF ANYTHING ON THE NORTH AMERICAN CONTINENT.

Here’s my initial experience with the Microsoft career site.

You log in with your Hotmail/MSN Messenger/Passport/LIVE!/Rumplestiltskin/whatever-they’re-calling-it-this-week account. (FYI MS Marketing: STOP TRYING TO BRAND. You obviously have no idea how it’s done. You can never create a coherent and powerful brand identity, if you keep changing the name of every product you have. Stop. For the love of whatever god you’re delusional about, just stop.) Logging in with that account is a bit weird, but then it gets really weird.

They want your email address, which is fine, and a bit ironic given that they want you to use a hotmail account to log in, meaning that Microsoft already has an email address for you, but whatever. Right underneath the email blank is the following:

I would like to hear from Microsoft about products, services, and events, including the latest solutions, tips, and exclusive offers. YES / NO

I would like to hear from Microsoft Partners, or Microsoft on their behalf, about their products, services, and events. Share or use my details with Microsoft Partners. YES / NO

What the hell is this? You’ve offered me a job, and now you want to spam me? Fuck you Billy G. Fuck you to hell. Paul Graham was right.

Every so often I check the junk mail folder on my hotmail account, just in case something got misfiled. Today I found a poem of sorts. Here are the 9 messages in order:

This reminds me of the AOL Search Log poem that was written over the course of 23 days.