Robot Monkeys

So I’m standing in this lounge thing at MSR when something outside catches my eye. So I casually stroll over to the window and what do I see?

I was wrong.

t-jokore(a)microsoft.com

So Microsoft is colluding with General Electric (via NBC-Universal) to break television and to move us 30 years into the past. That’s right. Microsoft conspired to remove the ability to record television shows. Why? They probably got paid off. I suspect this is part of the .

Should anyone really be surprised that this happened? Of course not! Microsoft shoved their ironically named, “Play for Sure” digital restrictions management scheme overboard and screwed all the those dumb enough to exchange money for something they don’t control. (This goes for both the end users and the device “partners.”)

So just in case any of you still don’t understand how things like this work. You are not a customer. You are a commodity. You don’t even have a seat at the table. Microsoft, GE, none of the megacorps care about you. You’re a resource to be exploited, and are bought and sold like a jailhouse bitch.

Here’s my initial experience with the Microsoft career site.

You log in with your Hotmail/MSN Messenger/Passport/LIVE!/Rumplestiltskin/whatever-they’re-calling-it-this-week account. (FYI MS Marketing: STOP TRYING TO BRAND. You obviously have no idea how it’s done. You can never create a coherent and powerful brand identity, if you keep changing the name of every product you have. Stop. For the love of whatever god you’re delusional about, just stop.) Logging in with that account is a bit weird, but then it gets really weird.

They want your email address, which is fine, and a bit ironic given that they want you to use a hotmail account to log in, meaning that Microsoft already has an email address for you, but whatever. Right underneath the email blank is the following:

I would like to hear from Microsoft about products, services, and events, including the latest solutions, tips, and exclusive offers. YES / NO

I would like to hear from Microsoft Partners, or Microsoft on their behalf, about their products, services, and events. Share or use my details with Microsoft Partners. YES / NO

What the hell is this? You’ve offered me a job, and now you want to spam me? Fuck you Billy G. Fuck you to hell. Paul Graham was right.

jkoren(a)microsoft.com

Got the t-shirt. (Well, it’s being delivered anyway.)

19 year old Jonathan is aghast. Never trust anyone over 30 indeed.