Robot Monkeys

For years, nay decades, I’ve been wondering which was more environmentally friendly, paper towels or hand driers. I believe I first became aware of the modern day moral conundrum when I was in a bathroom that had both, and both had signs indicating that they were the obvious alternative.

Slate’s Lantern has the answer. Blow Dryers… maybe.

Apparently Salon did this a while back, as did Excel, makers of the very effective, but insanely loud Xcelerator (”Feel the Power”). (I thought I had a post for years ago describing my first experience with one in the SIU Student Center, and how I could watch my skin billow under its jets exhaust, but alas, I can’t find it.)

Calculating the environmental impact is difficult given the variance in the number of towels used and the duration of the blowing, the efficiency of the blower, and the along with the source of the electricity. The environmental impact of the towels comes from transporting and manufacturing them, since none get recycled, and deforestation is a nonissue due to them coming from industrial tree farms. Basically, using two paper towels is about the same as one blast from an old dryer. If a new dryer is used, then the dryer wins hands down (just hopefully not your pants).

So I’ve seeing the propaganda ads from the American Petroleum Institute talking about how we should pump America dry. The big selling point? We have enough oil to last us 60 years. We can run out in my lifetime. Jesus. That’s a winning solution, all the way.

Not to be out done, the coal industry just ran ad saying how if we don’t strip mine America, “We’ll have to say goodbye to the American life we all love.” Wow. Fear. Nice.

From CNN’s report on the UN climate change conference in Bali:

The head of the U.S. delegation — Under Secretary of State for Democracy and Global Affairs Paula Dobriansky — was booed Saturday afternoon when she announced that the United States was rejecting the plan as then written because they were “not prepared to accept this formulation.” She said developing countries needed to carry more of the responsibility.

While rhetoric at such conferences is often just words, a short speech by a delegate from the small developing country of Papua New Guinea appeared to carry weight with the Americans. The delegate challenged the United States to “either lead, follow or get out of the way.”

Just five minutes later, when it appeared the conference was on the brink of collapse, Dobriansky took to the floor again to announce the United States was willing to accept the arrangement. Applause erupted in the hall and a relative level of success for the conference appeared certain.

In other words, the Bush administration was shamed by Papua New Guinea. Truly, America’s leadership on the world stage under Bush is awe-inspiring – but not in a good way.

Just in time for Gore’s “An Inconvient Truth,” Pro-CO₂ ads. It’s great they even say, “People breathe it out. Plants breathe it in.” I haven’t seen anything this awesome since the Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division. Alas, the CEI is doing to for real.

My parents’ house is heated with oil. Kind of unusual for Southern Illinois, but that’s how they roll. Or at least they currently roll. They’re looking at migrating to a heat pump thanks to the oil crunch.

Anyway, about 5 years ago the oil man accidently overfilled the tank and some no. 2 grade heating oil was spilled on some parrot tulips my mom planted under the tank. That year they grew, but but they looked stunted with stunted wavy petals. Every year they grow like that. My dad dug up ground there, and replaced it, but that doesn’t mean he knew how deep or how wide to dig. He replanted flowers in the same place. Until this year, they continued to grow the same way.

Now, 5 years later, the red tulips have changed.

Yeah. I didn’t think they were tulips at first either, but if you look at them, they are. The have the yellow trimmed black base to the petals. However, there’s obviously way way way too many of them. They don’t have pistils, and if they have stamens, they’re dwarfed, without anthers. Also, the stamens tend to be merged with the petals.