Standard Disclaimer

  1. Actual transformation time may vary.
  2. Adult Situations.
  3. Aim away from eyes and face.
  4. All models over 18 years of age.
  5. All rights reserved.
  6. All times approximate.
  7. All trademarks and copyrights property of their respected owners.
  8. Allow four to six weeks for delivery.
  9. Always use your safetybelt.
  10. An equal opportunity provider.
  11. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental.
  12. Apply only to affected area.
  13. Approved for veterans.
  14. Article is provided “as is” without any warranties.
  15. As seen on TV.
  16. At participating locations only.
  17. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes.
  18. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place.
  19. Batteries not included.
  20. Be sure each item is properly endorsed.
  21. Beware of dog.
  22. Booths for two or more.
  23. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.
  24. By reading this out loud you forfit any right to legal action.
  25. Call toll free before digging.
  26. Caution: This stunt preformed by a professional model. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DO THIS!
  27. Caveat emptor.
  28. Check here if tax deductible.
  29. Children under 13 should be properly restrained in rear seats.
  30. Claims not applicable in Alaska and Hawaii due to unusual supply shortages.
  31. Colors may differ from packaging.
  32. Colors may, in time, fade.
  33. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.
  34. Contents may settle during shipment.
  35. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
  36. Cooperation does not indicate endorsement.
  37. Designed for right handed throwing only.
  38. Does not contain drugs or money. Urine and specimen tests only.
  39. Does not increase strength.
  40. Does not move on it’s own.
  41. Do not disturb.
  42. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.
  43. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source.
  44. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit.
  45. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law.
  46. Do not stamp.
  47. Do not turn sun machine off.
  48. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
  49. Do not write below this line.
  50. Don’t do stupid things.
  51. Driver carries less than $50.
  52. Drop in any mailbox.
  53. Edited for content, time, and to fit in your screen.
  54. Edited for television.
  55. Employees and their families are not eligible.
  56. Explicit Content.
  57. First pull up, then pull down.
  58. Flipping Jedis sometimes fall. Flipping takes practice.
  59. For a limited time only.
  60. For entertainment purposes only.
  61. For external use only.
  62. For off-road use only.
  63. For office use only.
  64. For recreational use only.
  65. Fragile - Handle with care.
  66. Fresh claim may not be applicable in all areas.
  67. Freshest if eaten before date on carton.
  68. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat.
  69. Has been linked to cause cancer in labratory animals.
  70. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center.
  71. If condition persists, consult your physician.
  72. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician.
  73. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue use.
  74. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail.
  75. Instructions are included.
  76. Keep away from open flames.
  77. Keep away from pets and small children.
  78. Keep away from sunlight.
  79. Keep cool.
  80. Limit one-per-family please.
  81. Limited Animation.
  82. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery.
  83. List at least two alternate dates.
  84. List each check separately by bank number.
  85. List was current at time of printing.
  86. Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
  87. Many suitcases look alike.
  88. May be too intense for some viewers.
  89. May contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised.
  90. May contain peanuts.
  91. Must be 19 to enter, 21 to drink.
  92. No Canadian coins.
  93. No alcohol, dogs or horses.
  94. No anchovies unless otherwise specified.
  95. No childeren under 17 permited.
  96. No money down.^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^HNo. Money down.
  97. No other warranty expressed or implied.
  98. No passes accepted for this engagement.
  99. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States.
  100. No preservatives added.
  101. No purchase necessary.
  102. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added.
  103. No shoes, no shirt, no service.
  104. No solicitors.
  105. No substitutions allowed.
  106. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop.
  107. No user-serviceable parts inside.
  108. Nonregulation course and hedges.
  109. Not a valid credit card.
  110. Not a working vacuum.
  111. Not an accurate representation of crash performance.
  112. Not actual representation of image quality.
  113. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross.
  114. Not affiliated with the government or any government agency.
  115. Not available in all areas.
  116. Not available in AL, AK, AZ, AR, CA, CO, CT, DE, DC, FL, GA, HI, ID, IL, IN, IA, KS, KY, LA, ME, MD, MA, MI, MN, MS, MO, MT, NE, NV, NH, NJ, NM, NY, NC, ND, OH, OK, OR, PA, PR, RI, SC, SD, TN, TX, UT, VT, VA, WA, WV, WI, WY, or outside the US.
  117. Not based on an actual event.
  118. Not for commercial use.
  119. Not for use with some sets.
  120. Not for personal use.
  121. Not legal for road use.
  122. Not legal tender.
  123. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse.
  124. Not recommended for children.
  125. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform.
  126. Not the Beatles.
  127. One size fits all.
  128. Only available at participating locations.
  129. Package sold by weight, not volume.
  130. Painfully Obvious Disclaimer: Don’t do this.
  131. Parental advisory.
  132. Penalty for private use.
  133. Place stamp here.
  134. Pose requires hand support.
  135. Possible penalties for early withdrawal.
  136. Post office will not deliver without postage.
  137. Postage will be paid by addressee.
  138. Prerecorded for this time zone.
  139. Price does not include taxes.
  140. Prices may vary in Alaska, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico.
  141. Process promptly.
  142. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
  143. Professional driver on closed course.
  144. Quantities are limited while supplies last.
  145. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub.
  146. Replace with same type.
  147. Reproduction strictly prohibited.
  148. Restaurant package, not for resale.
  149. Results atypical.
  150. Results reflect which has more taste, not preference.
  151. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward.
  152. Ribbed for your pleasure.
  153. Safety goggles may be required during use.
  154. Sanitized for your protection.
  155. Score depends on skill of player.
  156. Sealed for your protection, do not use if safety seal is broken.
  157. See label for sequence.
  158. Shading may occur.
  159. Sign here without admitting guilt.
  160. Simulated picture.
  161. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.
  162. Slippery when wet.
  163. Smoking this could be hazardous to your health.
  164. Some assembly required.
  165. Some equipment shown is optional.
  166. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only.
  167. Spy gear simulated.
  168. Subject to CAB approval.
  169. Subject to change without notice.
  170. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
  171. Substantial pumping required.
  172. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom.
  173. The following documentary is based on hearsay and conjecture. Where possible the viewer is encourage to reach their own conclusions.
  174. The manager does not know the combination to the safe.
  175. This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, company, university, or my friends.
  176. This end up.
  177. This is a UNIX machine - Do not turn it off.
  178. This is merely a website. Some of the things described here may cause you to be injured, arrested, or possibly deported. In other words, don’t try this at home.
  179. This is not a statement of future market performance.
  180. This is not an offer to sell securities.
  181. This is not fiberglass.
  182. This is part of set - Do not sell seperately.
  183. This product is meant for educational purposes only.
  184. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T.
  185. Use at your own risk.
  186. Use only as directed.
  187. Use only in a well-ventilated are.
  188. Use other side for additional listings.
  189. User assumes full responsibility.
  190. Void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted.
  191. Watch for falling rock.
  192. While non-toxic, this is NOT A FOOD PRODUCT, and should not be taken internaly.
  193. We have sent the forms which seem right for you.
  194. You may distribute this freely but you may not make a profit from it.
  195. You need not be present to win.
  196. Your canceled check is your receipt.
  197. Your mileage may vary.

Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper use, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized use, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB’s, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.). Other restrictions may apply.

This supersedes all previous notices.

Based off of Szymon Sokol’s standard disclaimer. Originally snarfed from Kristin Buxton when she was at UIUC.