Robot Monkeys

Surprise Sex

“The masked man jumped out of the bushes and rapedhad surprise sex with the woman.”

U.S. Major Gen. Antonio Taguba (Ret.):

There is no longer any doubt that the current administration committed war crimes. The only question is whether those who ordered torture will be held to account.

Sorry Tony. There’s no question of that either. They won’t be.

What should happen is that the International Criminal Court should issue an arrest warrant, and then the principles: George W, Cheney, Rummy, John Yoo, Scooter Libby, and the whole lot, should be arrested as soon as they step off the plane in a foreign country. Hell, Interpol should take a page out of their playbook and perform an “extraordinary rendition” and arrest them here.

Hell! Why the hell isn’t the Berkley city council ordering the Berkeley PD to arrest John Yoo at his office at 890 Simon Hall? I’ll tell you why. Because unlike the fucking Berkeley Nuclear Free Zone, this would actually achieve something, and hippies aren’t about achieving real change. They’re all about “sending messages” and forming drum circles and raging against the war machine and what not. Just not achieving real change.

Anonymous former newspaper man, as recounted by Frank Scandale, editor of The Record of Bergen County, New Jersey:

Yep, you guys have a liberal paper, albeit one I have never read. How can I know this? Well, and I say this with tongue in cheek, it would never occur to a conservative paper to engage in such introspection.

Shaun Yandell of Elk Grove, CA on his dilapidated suburban neighborhood:

This is not like a rare thing anymore,” he said. “I get big congregations of people cussing – stuff I can’t even fathom doing when I was a kid.

Shaun Yandell must either from a timewarp or is 70+.

Troy Patterson’s review about Discovery’s new “Planet Green” is divine in it’s contempt for the network. The money quote:

I for one want to go out and kill a dolphin.

tail (GNU coreutils) 5.97:

tail: warning: following standard input indefinitely is ineffective

Interestingly enough, not only does it let you do this (Yay UNIX!), but this message doesn’t exist in tail (textutils) 2.1 from four years previously in 2002. I also find it interesting that GNU moved tail from textutils to coreutils as well.

Edsger W. Dijkstra:

I found the UCSC campus not an inspiring place, and the longer I stayed there, the more depressing it became.

Sen. Barbara Mikulski (D-MD):

Absolutely. Absolutely. I think I would be great. First of all, I know how to behave at weddings and funerals. And I know how to be commander in chief. I’d bring a lot of fun to the job. We would rock the Naval Observatory.

Safari can’t open the page “http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiananmen_Square_protests_of_1989” because the server unexpectedly dropped the connection, which sometimes occurs when the server is busy. You might be able to open the page later.

Maybe it just winked out, but then again, maybe The Atlantic and Slashdot were a wrong.

UPDATE: Fri Apr 18 07:22:44 China Standard 2008
After Ryan suggested googling a certain religious group, I got a connection reset for the query and now:

Safari can’t open the page “http://www.google.com/” because the server unexpectedly dropped the connection, which sometimes occurs when the server is busy. You might be able to open the page later.

Huzzah!

On a related note, CNN International dropped out when they were talking about the Olympic torch protests regarding Tibet. I think it dropped out when they ran footage of the Tibetan protests being put down.

UPDATE: Fri Apr 18 19:16:23 China Standard 2008
I saw the Tibet footage I thought that was taken out. I don’t remember what channel it was, but it was there. I guess I don’t know what was going on with CNN. I have heard that CNN International was censored sometimes, though.

Here’s my initial experience with the Microsoft career site.

You log in with your Hotmail/MSN Messenger/Passport/LIVE!/Rumplestiltskin/whatever-they’re-calling-it-this-week account. (FYI MS Marketing: STOP TRYING TO BRAND. You obviously have no idea how it’s done. You can never create a coherent and powerful brand identity, if you keep changing the name of every product you have. Stop. For the love of whatever god you’re delusional about, just stop.) Logging in with that account is a bit weird, but then it gets really weird.

They want your email address, which is fine, and a bit ironic given that they want you to use a hotmail account to log in, meaning that Microsoft already has an email address for you, but whatever. Right underneath the email blank is the following:

I would like to hear from Microsoft about products, services, and events, including the latest solutions, tips, and exclusive offers. YES / NO

I would like to hear from Microsoft Partners, or Microsoft on their behalf, about their products, services, and events. Share or use my details with Microsoft Partners. YES / NO

What the hell is this? You’ve offered me a job, and now you want to spam me? Fuck you Billy G. Fuck you to hell. Paul Graham was right.