death watch

Saint Jesse Helms

Marc Thiessen deifies Helms in Monday’s WaPo. Oh poor Jesse! How you stood up to such horrible men like Clinton and Castro! The quote that really got me though was this:

What his critics could not appreciate is that, by the time he left office, Jesse Helms had become a mainstream conservative. And it was not because Helms had moved toward the mainstream — it was because the mainstream moved toward him.

The sad thing is, the unabashed racist, who bragged to Sen. Arlen Specter when Carol Moseley-Braun shared an elevator with them, “I’m going to make her cry. I’m going to sing Dixie until she cries.” (Chicago Sun-Times, 8/5/93). This is the man famously responded to a caller to Larry King in 1995 who said, “I want to thank you for everything you’ve done to help keep down the niggers,” responded with a salute and “Well, thank you, I think.” (Wilmington Star-News, 9/16/95) The same man who described gays as “weak, morally sick wretches,”(Newsweek, 12/5/94) and opposed AIDS funding because it was divine retribution, because “There is not one single case of AIDS in this country that cannot be traced in origin to sodomy.”(States News Service, 5/17/88)

Christopher Hitchens has it right when he calls him, “a provincial redneck”. Unfortunately so is Marc Thiessen claim of him being, “a mainstream conservative.” Just as Barry Goldwater famously went from reactionary conservative to liberal, by not changing a position. As it’s been said, “Goldwater didn’t leave the Republican party. The Republican party left him.”

The best comment I have say I heard about the passing of Jesse Helms, comes from Ryan, “I hope that Heaven has some sort of affirmative action, and Helms loses his spot to a minority.”

It would be fitting. Burn Hell you old embarrassing son of a bitch.

death watch
politics

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USA! USA! USA!

First up, we have defending hot dog eating champ Joey Chestnut defeating ex-champ Takeru “Arthritic Jaw” Kobayashi. w00t!

Secondly, we have Sen. Jesse Helms taking MC Hawking’s advice at 86.

USA! USA! USA!

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memes
politics

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Death Watch Punditry

The Kid from Buffalo, Tim Russert, is eating barbeque chicken wings with Alexander Hamilton now.

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personal

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Death Watch

Charleston Heston has cold dead hands.

Dibs on his gun.

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Death Watch Nerd Edition

Gary Gygax, inventor of Dungeons and Dragons, and member of the Vice Presidential Space-Time Continuum Security Team under Al Gore, failed his saving roll today, and died at 69.

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Most Indubitably It’s Death Watch Time

William F Buckley Jr dead at 82.

Indubitably and most precipitously a great cataclysm hither forth unseen since the times of Euphiptese and his campaign against the the acolytes of Persephone and such as and so forth… and so it becomes clear to even the most pig headed simpleton of West Tisbury (which of course would unboubtedly be a Harvard man) that what Congress should do is CUT MY TAXES AND PASS THE HOOKERS AND WHISKEY ACT BITCHES!

I for one will never miss his pompus ass, bad posture, barrel chest, double chin (or perhaps it’s just a side effect of that horrible posture) and that atrocious fake accent.

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Death Watch Two-fer

  1. Ryan:

    We’re gonna need a bigger casket.

    http://www.latimes.com/news/obituaries/la-me-scheider11feb11,0,2880332.story

  2. My rep when I was SF, Tom Lantos, dead at 80.

    Adolf couldn’t get him, but Grandfather Time did.

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Death Watch

Ike Turner dead at 76.

He’s slapping angels around now.

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Death Watch

Squeeze the Charmin all you want.  ”Mr Whipple”, Dick Wilson, is dead at 91.

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