Robot Monkeys

While walking around campus I came up with an idea for a character in a story.
There isn’t any story. Just the character, and an intro scene.

“So where do you work Jason?”

“I work for Capitol Records”

“Oh? Doing what?”

“I’m in guerrilla marketing.”

“What’s that?”

“You know those stickers for bands that are stuck on payphones, trashcans,
streetlamps…?”

“Yeah.”

“I put them there. Well, not all of them, obviously. Me and about six other
guys do the greater Boston area.”

“Just six guys?”

“Six full time guys, yeah. It really doesn’t take that long. A couple of
weeks before a release we get the signage, and we begin scouting locations.
Some of it’s obvious stuff, like bus stops, subway stations, that sort of
thing. But we also have to hit our target demographic where they live, where
they eat, where they shop, where they party. We have a contract with
Look-Look to help us out here.

Certain demos are more receptive to some tactics than others. The 18-24s tend
to be attracted to big swipes of colored posters, you know the 100 identical
posters all in a row. While the aging hipsters can get their interest piqued
by a simple sticker on the push door of a public garbage can. The idea is
to get image saturarion, yet make it look like it’s a spontaneous act from
The Scene.

Anyway. The six of us spend the day before preparing our poster rolls,
finalizing locations, dividing up the territory, and planning our routes.
Then we go out at about 3am. All the bars will be closed by then, and the
streets are mostly empty. And we poster until about 5.”

“Only two hours?”

“Oh yeah. We’ve done it hundereds of times. It’s really a military operation.
Once we hit critical mass, some kids start doing it for us. That’s when we
know we’ve got them.”

“I find this hard to believe.”

“Why? You didn’t think that Linkin Park sticker just appeared on that
payphone did you? I had to put it there. Speaking of which…”
Jason pulls a “Green Machines” sticker from his coat pocket, and applies
it in a cockeyed manner over the “Linkin Park” sticker.

“It’s crooked.”

“It’s supposed to be. It gives it the impression that some skateboarder came
by and applied on the run.”

“Who are they?”

“A San Diego punk band. They’re releasing a single in a couple of weeks.
Then it’s a TRL spot, and an interview with ‘Spin‘.”

“I’ve never heard of them. Are they popular?”

“No one has. And yes, they will be.”

“I had no idea this went on.”

“Neither did I until I started working there. I will tell you one thing I
learned. There are no genuine trendsetters. If you want to dress hip,
or act hip just do it. Don’t worry about feeling like a poser. Everyone
you see that looks hip are posers. Every last one them. I know. I tell them
what’s cool.”