Robot Monkeys

There is this girl that I went all through grade school and high school with. She was one of those “singing little girls”. You know the kind that in between lessons to become a pop superstar or beauty pagent winner, goes around singing at weddings.

In grade school and junior high, she would be trotted out at school talent shows and what not, and always sing the same two songs (which were the same two songs that all the other “singing little girls” sang): The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow and The Greatest Love of All. In high school, the songs changed to Wind Beneath My Wings, and some romantic country song whose name escapes me at the moment; since these were the songs that “singing teenage girls” sang.

I last I heard of her was a couple of years ago. She was entering some contest in Nashville where the grand prize was a record contract.

That was until I drove through Herrin last night.

This wednesday, for one night only, at the luxurious Bull Pen Lounge in fabulous Herrin Illinois, at 7pm, you can see the singing sensation for yourself.

Apparently she didn’t win.

When I read that sign on the bar, I had this image of her, decked out in sequins and a Pooh’s Video tanning bed tan, standing on a stage that is only one, maybe two, risers up off the floor lined with lightbulbs (like the stages in television karaoke bars) with a giant brandy snifter tip jar sitting on a Walmart karaoke machine.

She’d go over to it, press “play” on the tape deck, wait a couple of seconds for the hiss gave way to the distorted sound of popular song arranged for the piano. Then, she’d belt out the hits.

Singer:	Are there any requests?
Drunk #1:	TOMORROW!
Drunk #2:	GREATEST LOVE OF ALL!